The Olive Gal

green of skin, black of heart

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Category: Extreme Sarcasm

What Your Morbid Fantasies Say About You
February 18, 2014May 31, 2018 The Olive Gal 5 Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

What Your Morbid Fantasies Say About You

The other day I was in the shower shaving my legs when some suds began to trickle down into my eye. Without thinking, I reached up, razor still in hand, and brushed them away. Nothing happened,…

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Every Time My Kid Cries I Can’t Help But Laugh
February 13, 2014 The Olive Gal 1 Comment
  • Extreme Sarcasm
  • Family

Every Time My Kid Cries I Can’t Help But Laugh

I am not an evil person. Edit: I am not that evil of a person. I consider myself a compassionate, loving parent. As most parents with a heart will attest, seeing your child sick or in pain is…

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Let’s Talk About Sex…or How About Let’s Not
February 7, 2014May 31, 2018 The Olive Gal 3 Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

Let’s Talk About Sex…or How About Let’s Not

My husband and I have this argument on a regular basis. He’s thinks it’s totally natural and okay to discuss sex with members of your family—your baby brother, your aunt, your PARENTS. And I think that…

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Elbow Propping, Over-Caffeinating, and Other Coping Mechanisms for Extreme Exhaustion
February 4, 2014February 4, 2014 The Olive Gal 5 Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm
  • Food

Elbow Propping, Over-Caffeinating, and Other Coping Mechanisms for Extreme Exhaustion

I have never been an energetic person. From the time I was a teenager, I have complained about always being tired. Prior to my injury, I loved to dance, work out, and play sports, but engaging…

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10 Signs You Might Be Losing Your Mind
January 28, 2014 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm
  • Family

10 Signs You Might Be Losing Your Mind

I’m gonna go all Buzzfeed on you today. I present to you: 10 Signs You Might Be Losing Your Mind. This blog post is sponsored by my darling 3-year-old son, who has a special talent for…

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January 27, 2014 The Olive Gal 1 Comment
  • Extreme Sarcasm

I Keep a List of Brilliant British Slang and So Should You

I’m not exactly an anglophile but I do love me the Brits. They brought me Radiohead and the Beatles and Led Zeppelin and manners and wicked bizarre pronunciations and tea and Dr. Who. But what I…

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January 24, 2014 The Olive Gal 5 Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

I Fantasize About Blowing People Away With My Amazing Karaoke Skills and Other Things That Will Never Happen

Once upon a time, I was the topic of some pretty interesting dinner party banter. People would ask, “So what do you do?” and I could see that they were impressed when I replied, “I’m a…

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January 13, 2014January 13, 2014 The Olive Gal 4 Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

My Friends Wouldn’t Let Me Watch the Patriots Game

Stupid sports superstitions. Being a Boston fan, I’m pretty much a slave to some of the crazier neuroses of the religiously devoted. That includes required hissing at Yankee fans (No matter what the situation. If I’m…

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Would We Call This a New Year’s Resolution?
January 6, 2014January 8, 2014 The Olive Gal 7 Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

Would We Call This a New Year’s Resolution?

Alright, 2014, I’m ready. I think many of us can agree that 2013 sucked ass. (For those of you who had a great year, just keep it to yourself, thanks.) I’m ready to put it behind…

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Italians: The Mexicans of White People
December 11, 2013January 8, 2014 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

Italians: The Mexicans of White People

My husband once told me that Italians are the Mexicans of white people. He’s allowed to say this because he’s Mexican. The truth is, there are quite a few similarities between his family and mine, which…

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Free meatballs for life!

  • theolivegal RT @marcmaron: No one shit on the dead he didn’t like more than Rush. Always. He would be honored to be treated in kind. Quit crying. Time ago 8 Days via Twitter for iPhone Reply - Retweet - Favorite
  • RT @MarlowNYC: Dave Chappelle: “Watch the tape. Watch that crowd that told Colin Kaepernick he can’t kneel during a football game try to be… Time ago 13 Days via Twitter for iPhone Reply - Retweet - Favorite
  • Watching the “Framing Britney Spears” documentary by @nytimes is giving me some serious Girl, Interrupted vibes. #FreeBritney Time ago 13 Days via Twitter for iPhone Reply - Retweet - Favorite

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