The Olive Gal

green of skin, black of heart

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Category: Extreme Sarcasm

convention brain
September 13, 2016June 4, 2018 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

How To Shake Convention Brain

How many of you have ever gone to a convention and taken a picture like this? And how many of you have come back after the convention and gone, “Yeah, I have no idea what this is…

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craft project
August 29, 2016May 31, 2018 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

The Battle of the Craft Project

My son is two weeks into kindergarten and we’ve gotten his first assignment. Naturally, it’s a fun craft project that mom, dad, and child can all enjoy. So naturally, it was a fucking nightmare. Backtracking for a second:…

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closer to 40
May 20, 2016June 4, 2018 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

One Step Closer to 40

It was my birthday yesterday. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeh. I realize in the grand scheme of things, I’m still comparatively young. I’m not here to complain about that. (Okay, I’m a little bit here to complain about that.) What’s…

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tango Lucas
May 13, 2016June 6, 2018 The Olive Gal 4 Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

The Tango Lucas: A Bedtime Routine

The Tango Lucas is a complicated dance. It starts at 7:30pm. It starts that early because, if we’re lucky, it’ll be over by 9. That’s a long time to hold a rose between your teeth. You…

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out of shape
April 4, 2016June 6, 2018 The Olive Gal 1 Comment
  • Extreme Sarcasm

On Being Incredibly Out of Shape

There’s a difference between gaining weight and being out of shape. Once upon a time, a year after I had Lucas, I got down to my college weight. But was I as in shape as I…

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top 10 songs of the 80's
March 16, 2016June 6, 2018 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

The Irrefutable Top 10 Songs of the 80’s List

Listen up because this is important. I’ve spent a lifetime cultivating the ultimate collection of 80’s music, curating everything from big hair power ballads to the synthesiziest synth pop you ever did hear. I’ve built the foundation of…

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I Saved You All From Reading Something You Shouldn’t Have
March 8, 2016 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

I Saved You All From Reading Something You Shouldn’t Have

Last night I typed up a thousand words on something I was very angry about. It’s been eating me up for weeks, and last night I let it all out. I ranted, blustered, shook, cried, and…

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I Need Me Some Creative Viagra
February 9, 2016 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

I Need Me Some Creative Viagra

It’s been a little quiet here at The Olive Gal lately. And for no good reason. I told myself when I started this blog more than two years ago that I wouldn’t just crank out blogs to…

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Word of the Year: Balance
January 3, 2016 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

Word of the Year: Balance

Every New Year, us humans have an innate tendency to reflect on the 365 days we survived and look ahead to the 365 to come. We can’t help it, it’s a thing we do. (And me…

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That One Time I Got Struck By Lightning
November 9, 2015November 9, 2015 The Olive Gal No Comments
  • Extreme Sarcasm

That One Time I Got Struck By Lightning

This morning in San Jose, the sky was ominous and dark and the rain fell in sheets. As I stared out the window of our 10th floor office, I saw a flash of light in the sky…

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Free meatballs for life!

  • theolivegal An absolutely stunning performance by Nick Offerman in Last of Us. As the Frank to my husband’s Bill, your tenderne… t.co/WXXh8t0fcF Time ago 2 Days via Twitter for iPhone Reply - Retweet - Favorite
  • @CPodiumcafe @CharlesPPierce I don't think it's public opinion they're worried about. It's that they can now turn t… t.co/wJsA9u0KJw Time ago 25 Days via Twitter Web App Reply - Retweet - Favorite
  • As a dancer whose career was ended by injury. As a writer whose second career was sidelined by cancer...thank you,… t.co/IS7Q0MrviI Time ago 25 Days via Twitter Web App Reply - Retweet - Favorite

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