Let’s Talk About Sex…or How About Let’s Not

My husband and I have this argument on a regular basis. He’s thinks it’s totally natural and okay to discuss sex with members of your family—your baby brother, your aunt, your PARENTS. And I think that talking about the private parts of the people who made you or the people whose diapers you’ve changed is absolutely forbidden. Like…no.

That shit is gross.

I really don’t want to hear funny sex stories about how when your brother was 2 years old, he jumped onto your parents’ backs while they were doing it and yelled “AH, AH, AH!” I don’t want to listen to your dad snicker while he jokes about how your mom noticed the ceiling paint was chipped while he was banging her. Conversely, I DEFINITELY do not want to hear a goddamn word about my own parents’ sex life. Like…no.

Seriously, that shit is gross.

Today in my office, for whatever reason, sex talk was in the air, and in a matter of 20 minutes I heard a senior staff member make innuendo about her husband’s junk and another person whom I prefer to think of as completely asexual use the word “sex” in a sentence. Pretty harmless stuff but let me make my stance on sex talk with office people perfectly clear:


Lest you think I’m a prude, I am comfortable with sex. I don’t think the actual act is gross. It is a natural, beautiful part of life and should be celebrated. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that there are certain people with which sex should never be discussed. It’s uncomfortable. It’s icky.

Office folk are great, but there’s a certain kind of distance you need to keep with them in order to maintain a professional relationship. Yes, some of my best friends are people who I’ve worked with, and with those people I don’t mind discussing our sex lives. But for people that are either way above me in status or in age, I just don’t wanna hear it. Case closed.

Same goes for family. I can have a superficial discussion about sex with my same-age cousins. Just keep it PG-13 and I’m cool. But parents?! Kids whose peeps I saw when I had to wipe poo off their asses?! In case I haven’t drummed this point home enough….


What is your stance on sex talk with your family or coworkers? You cool with it? Or are you as skeezed out as I am?

green of skin, black of heart

3 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Sex…or How About Let’s Not

  1. I remember once hearing a co-worker talk about having her toes sucked and wanting to crawl under my desk for the rest of the day. Nope nope nope. Nopetopus. Boundaries are our friends!

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