Who’s on First? Convos with a Five-Year-Old
Ever get caught in a vortex of a conversation with your child that only ends in more confusion? You mention something in passing and it puzzles your kid, so he inquires further, only to find that each of your answers makes less and less sense. In fact, by the end, you, too, are thoroughly lost.
I call these the “Who’s on First?” convos.
Last night while putting Lucas to bed, he asked about the names of the people I work with. So I explained that Eric is my boss, and I work with Ann and Rob and Kirstie who are designers, and David and Nino are programmers, which means they tell the computer what to do and get the designs and words up on the screen.
You’d think he would have gotten tripped up at design and programming, but my child ponders for a second and launches into a series of questions that basically undoes my entire understanding of the English (and Spanish) language.
Lucas: You work with Nino?
In Spanish, Nino means godfather. Lucas’ Nino is Ozzy, and he calls him, simply, Nino.
Me: No, Lucas, there is a person here who’s NAME is Nino.
Lucas: Nino’s name is Nino?
Me: No, no. Nino’s name is Ozzy. THIS Nino is named Nino. Nino means godfather in Spanish.
Lucas: You work with my godfather?
Me: No, Nino is your godfather. I mean, Nino Ozzy. This Nino is not related to us.
Lucas: So what’s this Nino’s name?
Me: Nino.
Lucas: ???
Me, attempting to distract Lucas from the mess I just made: Hey! You know what? I work with TWO Davids!
As you can imagine, that did not help. At all.
The Olive Gal
green of skin, black of heart
