I Fantasize About Blowing People Away With My Amazing Karaoke Skills and Other Things That Will Never Happen
Once upon a time, I was the topic of some pretty interesting dinner party banter. People would ask, “So what do you do?” and I could see that they were impressed when I replied, “I’m a professional dancer,” or “I’m an editor at a dance magazine.” In fact, they often didn’t believe it. I had to back it up with a move or two.
Being marginally decent at something most folks have trouble with made me feel pretty durned special. Now that I’m no longer a dancer or an editor at a fancy New York magazine, I miss the spark, not only of impressing people by doing something exciting but, you know, the actual act of doing something exciting.
Now that I’m a writer by profession (which is still way cool in my eyes), most of my job goes rather unnoticed by the dinner party crowd. It is not glamorous to sit at a desk from 8–5pm or blog from home in my jammies. So I have these rich fantasies of going out for a casual karaoke night with my coworkers and stepping up to the mic all, “Who me? Nah, don’t make me do this, guys, seriously, I’m so embar…”
“TILL NOW! I ALWAY GOT BY ON MY OWN! I NEVER REALLY CARED UNTIL I MET YOU!!”
And my coworkers being all, “Holy shit, I had no idea she could really sing like that! She’s incredible! Why didn’t she pursue a professional singing career?! She makes Heart sound like contestants in a junior high talent show!” And me being all, I know, I know. I am just naturally so awesome at this.
Other things I fantasize about doing that have about a million in one chance of actually happening:
- fronting a Led Zeppelin cover band called Zed Leppelin
- choreographing a routine for a “So You Think You Can Dance” contestant that is so amazing that I get asked to be a judge on the show
- having my blog “discovered” by an agent/publishing company and being offered a sweet, sweet book deal (HEAR THAT, AGENTS AND PUBLISHING COMPANIES? I’M WAITING.)
But in the words of Lloyd Christmas, when I hear there’s about a million in one chance of any of these things actually happening, I think, “So you’re saying there’s a chance!”
I realize my fantasies of being awesome in other people’s eyes are completely superficial. Why do I need other people to think I’m special? In the grand scheme of things, I don’t. But it sure is nice to pretend.
The Olive Gal
green of skin, black of heart
I do this too. I’d love to be a karaoke star or write a blog that gets a book deal. (Not much chance of that right now, I’m afraid; my blog is 95% Goodreads reviews.)
Dammit, I just want validation that I’m not my crappy job. :/
Link me to your blog!
It’s burritosandborscht at wordpress. Sorry I didn’t send a direct link, but it’s under my real name & I don’t like to mix real name with twitter name. 😡
We must get you drank and let you turn in to aretha
You bettah think…THINK!…think about whatcha tryin to do to me!