Today I had a bomb dropped on me. When I went to drop Lucas off at pre-school, there was a note in his cubby from his best friend’s mom. She very sweetly suggested we have Lucas and his buddy get together sometime and then wondered if Lucas would be having a birthday party on the 25th, his birthday (which is the same day as his little friend’s birthday. They are best friends and share a birthday. It’s actually the cutest). She wanted to schedule her son’s party on that day, but didn’t want it to conflict.
I had no plans to invite them to Lucas’ party.
See, I’m not trying to be a jerk. I thought about having them and another one of Lucas’ friends from school to his birthday party, but then I completely chickened out. For whatever reason, you can throw me into a cocktail party by myself with a room full of complete strangers and I will charm the pants off you. But if you stick me in a room of parents, I want to run and hide.
I have no clue how to interact with other parents who are not already my friends.
I have started to get to know a few of the parents at Lucas’ school. Those of us who are on the same drop-off/pick-up schedule smile at one another and make small talk while we gather up our kids’ things. Every time this happens, I say something incredibly awkward and uncomfortable.
“Oh, Lucy was talking about Lucas yesterday in the car. I think they played together on the playground yesterday!”
“Oh really? How cute! I cleaned a bunch of sticky poop out of Lucas’ underwear yesterday. The teachers just packed up his soiled underpants in a bag and didn’t dump any of the poop out and it was like this huge turd and I got it all over the place.”
“…..”
“Yeah, it was gross. So I hope they play together again today!”
You see, in an attempt to not sound like a douchebag braggy parent, I end up telling stories that make my son sound like a retard. I think I need to rethink my strategy.
Anyway, I know making “mommy friends” (oh God, puke) is important. Lucas is starting to connect with other children at school, and it’s in his best interest that I encourage and foster those connections. Even though the idea of a “play date” makes me want to vomit in my shoes, I know Lucas will have fun hanging out with his friends outside of the classroom. So I will suck it up. But apologies in advance to the moms and dads who must sit around and make awkward and very likely disgusting small talk with me while our kids run around in the backyard. You’ve been warned!
The Olive Gal
green of skin, black of heart
You are at the stage in his life where you can choose his friends for him based on who your friends are. So soak it up. Pretty soon he will want playdates with kids who have creepy parents or parents where you have nothing in common.
I have the problem where I want to be friends with ALL the parents. Espeically the mini-van mommies. For some reason they seem so cool to me. They arrive at school, pick up their kids, and all their kids friends, and head to the house for a “cool playdate at so-in-so’s house”. Then there is me, the working mom who has to tell her daughter she can’t have that playdate cause she has to go to afterschool care”. Then when I do have the chance to try and make friends with the mini-van mom, I say stupid things like, “ug, my daughter was such a bitch to me this morning. How about your daughter, tell me all the horrible things she does to you!” Not a great thing to start out a friendly relationship where you want their child to feel welcome in your home.
This is the hardest thing. I feel like the parents at my kids’ regular school are 10+ years younger and not interested in the same things I am, while the parents at their Sunday school are 10+ years older (and much wealthier), so not interested in the same things I am either. What’s a broke-ass, socially awkward geek to do?
Luckily, I don’t usually have to do the birthday-party circuit since their dad has the kids most weekends. At least I have my online pals!