How To Shake Convention Brain
How many of you have ever gone to a convention and taken a picture like this? And how many of you have come back after the convention and gone, “Yeah, I have no idea what this is…
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Category: Extreme Sarcasm
The Battle of the Craft Project
My son is two weeks into kindergarten and we’ve gotten his first assignment. Naturally, it’s a fun craft project that mom, dad, and child can all enjoy. So naturally, it was a fucking nightmare. Backtracking for a second:…
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One Step Closer to 40
It was my birthday yesterday. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeh. I realize in the grand scheme of things, I’m still comparatively young. I’m not here to complain about that. (Okay, I’m a little bit here to complain about that.) What’s…
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The Tango Lucas: A Bedtime Routine
The Tango Lucas is a complicated dance. It starts at 7:30pm. It starts that early because, if we’re lucky, it’ll be over by 9. That’s a long time to hold a rose between your teeth. You…
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On Being Incredibly Out of Shape
There’s a difference between gaining weight and being out of shape. Once upon a time, a year after I had Lucas, I got down to my college weight. But was I as in shape as I…
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The Irrefutable Top 10 Songs of the 80’s List
Listen up because this is important. I’ve spent a lifetime cultivating the ultimate collection of 80’s music, curating everything from big hair power ballads to the synthesiziest synth pop you ever did hear. I’ve built the foundation of…
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I Saved You All From Reading Something You Shouldn’t Have
Last night I typed up a thousand words on something I was very angry about. It’s been eating me up for weeks, and last night I let it all out. I ranted, blustered, shook, cried, and…
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I Need Me Some Creative Viagra
It’s been a little quiet here at The Olive Gal lately. And for no good reason. I told myself when I started this blog more than two years ago that I wouldn’t just crank out blogs to…
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Word of the Year: Balance
Every New Year, us humans have an innate tendency to reflect on the 365 days we survived and look ahead to the 365 to come. We can’t help it, it’s a thing we do. (And me…
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That One Time I Got Struck By Lightning
This morning in San Jose, the sky was ominous and dark and the rain fell in sheets. As I stared out the window of our 10th floor office, I saw a flash of light in the sky…
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